Also, post-fight make-up sex cements intimacy. And to think most of us believe fighting is a bad thing to be avoided at all costs.
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After we become comfortable in a relationship, it is easy to think our partner knows our mood, our needs and our wants. Some people even think they can, or should, be able to read our minds. Fortunately, fighting dashes these delusions in an instant. Sometimes it is hard to recognize them at all as new sides of their personality emerge.
It can be a scary sight. The monster we see is often a projection on our part, and sometimes are partner is acting terribly.
Listening to People
Once this storm has passed a deeper discussion of what happened can be explored. You increase your patience, care, and love by focusing on what is important — that you care for this person and want them to be happy without losing sight of your own needs. Fighting is like forging steel.
In the beginning, there is no strength or flexibility in the unrefined product. Fighting demonstrates that you are human and not some perfect angelic being, or that you have the perfect relationship, or that you are above it all. It shows that sometimes you are in a bad mood, are stressed out, or just plain tired. It shows where in your psyche lay unresolved issues, whether they be for control, stemming from insecurity, power, from feeling helpless, or self-esteem, from not being acknowledged or respected.
I hope I have demonstrated that fighting is a useful function for healthy relationships. When done skillfully, an opportunity for a greater understanding and love for your partner is possible. Talking about it is easy. Doing is difficult. Until then, courage mon ami! Steven Lake is an author, speaker and relationship coach. His latest book , talk2ME: How to communicate with women, tune up your relationship, tone down the fights, dodge divorce, and have sex more than once a year, can be found on Amazon Amazon. For a short fun read Dr. Contact author at TheRelationshipGuy.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Megacool Blog indeed! Great website Piano MusicEnjoy! It's the bully who's insecure. In cases of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, consult with counseling , legal, law enforcement, or administrative professionals on the matter.
Benefits: Proactive not reactive. Shift balance of power.
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Win respect and cooperation when appropriately applied. How: The ability to identify and assert consequence s is one of the most important skills we can use to "stand down" a difficult person. Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the challenging individual, and compels her or him to shift from obstruction to cooperation. In conclusion, to know how to handle unreasonable and difficult people is to truly master the art of communication. As you utilize these skills, you may experience less grief, greater confidence, better relationships, and higher communication prowess.
You are on your way to leadership success! Preston Ni, M. For more information, write to commsuccess nipreston. All rights reserved worldwide. Copyright violation may subject the violator to legal prosecution. It seems that I have the most difficult time with people who seems to want to control my life. It seems that people get upset when I speak to certain people or like someone they do not approve of.
I hear everything negative about people simply because I have befriended them.
It gets worse when it comes to female because I catch it from both males and females. Here is an example, I was speaking to a female co-worker and a male co-worker walked up and starting laughing and then introduced himself to the female co-worker. His actions caused both of us to look at each other like what is wrong with this person. This same male co-worker love to tell me of all the "relationships" female co-workers have had when he see me speaking to them.
Never mind, he does not know what the conversation was about. Every female at work is out to set me up with their girlfriend regardless if I am attracted to that person or not. They want to build up that person in my eyes, but I make my own decisions when dealing with relationship and as I tell my co-workers I prefer to make that choice, but I am not on the time table that they want. I can understand that they may not be happy, but they chose to put themselves in those marriages.
I cannot understand how trying to control my life will make their better? I know life is not perfect so I do not expect a whole lot. If i am in a bad situation, I deal with it myself instead of blaming others. What you wrote was absolutely helpful, I chose to date someone I was in a band with knowing they were bipolar and even with that they used it as an excuse to be difficult and completely unreasonable so some of the things you said I have applied and will apply.
I broke up with him which made it worst even though I allowed him to stay in the band even after being name called and screamed at repeatedly. At this point I just wanna keep the peace until I can decide my next move so thank you so much for your article you are a life saver.
Some great tips I agree. Problem is sometimes theory and practice aren't always compatible I find.
Using Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace
I have experienced bullying myself is isn't easy to deal with. Some women can be very nasty likewise men can also have these traits. I have learnt not to bite the bait and come down to some people's levels. These type of people normally back away and stop the bullying of others. They are nasty people and need to get a life they are sad cases in most instances.
Hi, So I have a young family and partner.. She happens to be an old friend of my Dads.
6 Surprising Ways to Communicate Better With Your Partner | Psychology Today
Her flat is situated behind ours. She started off very friendly and interacted with my daughters baby and school girl. Had heaps of helpful tips on gardening etc.. Gave us a hot dinner when we arrived back home late from holiday. But, lately she has become way too much.
Over stating her mark. Always coming over to give us food, but just walking on in without me getting to the door. My baby had something in her mouth and she picked it out with her finger..
My partner and I are fed up. She questions my every word or she knows the answer to everything.
How to Communicate in a Relationship: Communiation Between Couples
Just don't know how to tell her to back off in a nice way. I had to work with an older woman no offense to those seniors because she had one chip on her shoulder with me. I never thought that people have work environments where evil wins. Always, always, always and always am protected by prayer because after meeting this demon is always a chore.